Princess Crossover
by MelaTheMushroom
Summary: Shinigami-sama and the Royal Family don't get along well....What happens when the Meisters investigate the monsters in Sasanaki City? No romance, just blood :D
1. Prologue: Princess Moon Phases

"Princess Crossover"

Prologue: Looming Moon

It was one of those nights; those rare, normal nights. A night in which the citizens of Sasanaki City could sleep soundly without hearing strange noises coming from the unmistakably menacing mansion on the hill. Clouds covered the moon, and great fog banks rolled down the mountain pass.

But as the midnight hour came and went, the clouds parted and slipped away, letting the moon shine through unhindered. It should have been nearly full, but instead it was crescent, and much bigger and closer-looking than it had ever been before. The moon looked alive, like a face in profile. One maniacal, cartoony eye stared down at the city, and it had a leering smile filled with huge square teeth. If you look hard enough, you could see a thin trickle of blood move over it's teeth, slide down the curve, and drip silently off the tip.

A dot appeared in the distance, growing steadily as it flew in front of the moon. It was a black-haired boy on a rocket-powered skateboard, a gun shining in each hand. He had a look of grim determination blazing within his yellow eyes. He flew ahead of the group, scanning the horizon for danger. Far below, the rest of the team struggled to keep up with Death the Kid. You could just make out a flash of blue as Black*Star rushed haphazardly through the woods, ignoring Tsubaki's cries for him to slow down. The impressive dark arm managed to keep up with her hyperactive Meister even in her restrictive clothing. They had left the motorcycle far behind and headed straight through the trees. Soul and Maka were the only ones actually on the road as they approached the city. Crona sat in the sidecar, arms wrapped tightly around himself with his face hidden from the wind.

"This town has a creepy vibe... Very cool," Soul said, grinning over at Maka.

Crona peeked out. "I...I don't think I know how to deal with creepy."

Maka sighed hopelessly. Crona never showed any real signs of progress. Still, she managed to compose herself and put on a reassuring smile. "Crona, you're fine. You come from Shibusen; you deal with creepy all the time, right Meister?"

Crona nodded, unconvinced, and ducked down again as Ragnarok oozed lazily out of his back. He had grown some in the last few years, and was almost back to his original size. Thankfully, the black-blooded weapon was recovering much better than his host/Meister and had lost the worst of his aggressiveness, though he could never quite kick the habit of picking on Crona. He crossed his arms and turned in a slow circle, surveying the scenery as it flashed by with an excited look on his face-if he had a mouth, he would be grinning, too.

"I'm smelling monsters all over the place!" he shouted, noisily sniffing at the wind. He blinked then frowned. "...But most of the scents are stale." He was obviously disappointed, and began pulling half-heartedly at Crona's messy pink hair.

Soul nodded. "The reports Death was getting from Sasanaki are pretty serious. There are some hardcore uglies lurking around here...But for some reason they don't stick around very long."

"So we're not here to eat souls?" Ragnarok whined, absently punching Crona's head. Crona didn't flinch, but instead focused intently on keeping his eyes shut and ignoring the immature little devil.

"Sure we will. But we're mostly here to see what happens to them all, and why they come in the first place."

Suddenly Maka, who had been quiet for the majority of the ride, spoke up. "Stop the bike, Soul... I'm picking up a really weird wavelength. I need to focus on it."

Soul said nothing, but pulled off the pass and into the forest before he cut the engine, watching Maka as the rumbling faded away. Maka closed her eyes as she concentrated, silently honing in on the suspicious wavelength.

Not even a minute had passed before Black*Star appeared from the bushes ahead of them, stepping out of the creepers with Tsubaki in tow. He crossed his oddly well-muscled arms and eyed the silent group, foot tapping impatiently.

Suddenly, Maka opened her eyes and turned her head sharply. "Found it!"

"Well what's up? Somebody tell the the big man what Maka was looking for!" Black*Star shouted obnoxiously, jabbing a finger at Maka with flaring nostrils.

Every head turned to Black*Star and they all shouted together. "_Shut up, _you idiot!_"

* * *

_

_~Scene Change: Inside the Mansion~_

Riza paced restlessly on the balcony, ears twitching, hands shoved into her pockets. She kept glancing at the moon, which sent chills down her spine. She had been up for hours now, pacing for the majority of the time. She couldn't shake the dark foreboding crawling into her mind, and every time she thought she could ignore it, the moon would flash her a devilish wink.

"Pull yourself together. It's just another night at the Royal's mansion," she said to herself, anxiously running a hand through her short red hair as she crossed the floor yet again.

She slowed then stopped, looking out into the blackness. She could smell it; that damn vampire showing up where she wasn't wanted again. Riza groaned and leaned back against the railing, watching Reiri take shape in the early morning darkness.

"Morning, mutt," Reiri called cheerfully, floating down to sit daintily on the railing. "Are you being a good guard dog or did Hime throw you outside for climbing on the bed?"

"Shut up. I couldn't sleep is all."

"You poor thing...Is it 'cause the moon is out? You dogs are so weird about the moon." Reiri stuck out her tongue, ducking slightly to avoid the tea cup Riza hurled at her head. She smiled and hopped down, strolling casually up to Riza, who in turn growled and glared at her. "Hime is going to be mad about that tea cup. Be a good puppy and go fetch it for me."

"Back off already. I'm sick of you picking fights all the time," Riza spat. The werewolf halfbreed leaned forward, her golden eyes shining at the prospect of a fight.

The vampire feigned innocence, holding up a delicate hand to her mouth. "I don't pick fights! It's just your violent nature. I mean, nobody else wants to fight with me. In fact they all love me, and I treat them the same way as I do you." She paused, turning away for a moment to contemplate the nightscape. She giggled daintily —Which, in Riza's opinion, was a disgustingly sweet sound— before continuing. "...It must be those animal instincts of yours. Violent beasts should be put down before they harm somebody, you know."

Riza said nothing, but turned and walked back into the mansion, leaving the door open behind her. Reiri hesitated a while, frowning, but soon followed her in, down the stairs, and out the front door.

* * *

"Something's coming. You can tell, huh Hime?" Riza mused, turning to the sound of footsteps coming down the grand staircase. The beautiful teenage princess walked out to join them, her red eyes looking dull from lack of sleep. She crossed her arms and looked out at the moon, tapping her chin thoughtfully.

"Good evening, Hime-sama. What are you doing out of bed?" Reiri said, bowing graciously.

"I've got the same feeling that's bothering Riza. I don't like the looks of that moon."

Riza shrugged. "So what should we do?"

"May as well stay awake now; I'm certain we'll have visitors soon," Hime responded, flipping back her yellow hair as though the situation made no difference to her. "Flandre should be finished charging before the hour's up."

"Are Hiro or Sawawa awake, too?"

"I'm not sure. They're humans, after all. Their instincts for danger aren't as sharp as yours," Hime said, smiling slightly as she turned back to the house. "But if Sawawa-san is awake, have her bring me tea. I'll be out on the porch enjoying the stars."

She left the two girls standing outside, awkwardly avoiding looking at one another. After a few minutes of the uncomfortable silence, Reiri finally spoke.

"I'm going back to bed, then. Be a good dog and watch the house."

Riza turned, surprised. "But Hime just said we should stay awake! What the hell do you think you're doing not listening to her?"

Reiri smiled snidely, already floating back inside. "Whatever happens, you can always wake me up. Good-night!"

"That lazy vampire bitch..." Reiri growled, and leaned back against the door.

* * *

**A/N: **_Okay, it took forever, but I finally let my precious prologue go...I know I have finals in two weeks, but instead of studying I'm going to work on the story over the weekend ^^T_

_Um, I guess review, even though nothing really happened. 'Cause that'd be nice. Er...I love these two series, and I just had to stick 'em together. What do you want to see? Shall they team up against some other threat or have a bloody war to destroy one another? Oh, the fun I shall have with the massacres I have in store for you! !  
_


	2. Princess Clashing Personalities

Chapter 1: Princess Clashing Personalities

The night passed uneventfully, and Riza fell asleep just as dawn broke over the treeline. She didn't sleep for long, though, and she awoke to find Sherwood scowling down at her. The tiny princess was flanked by her android maid, Francesca, and her personal guard of three undead pandas she had stolen from the zoo, all of whom had ridiculous names. The group would have been comical, were it not for the grave expressions they all wore.

"Fuga," Francesca drawled, and pointed at the door behind Riza's head.

Riza rolled to her feet and stepped out of the way, rubbing a sore spot on her neck. "Sorry," she muttered.

"You're lucky I didn't just have Ryu-Ryu throw you out of the way," Sherwood huffed.

"I'm sorry for falling asleep at _night. _I'll try not to do that again, so don't unleash your teddy bear on me for no reason."

Sherwood gave her a look of intense disdain for such a young child, and ignored the commoner's disrespect. "Good, then. Francesca, open the door," the princess ordered. She looked back at Riza and added, "Are you coming inside or are you going to go back to bed?"

Riza slowly stretched her arms over her head and yawned, blinking sleepily at Hime's little sister. "Think I'll cuddle up with the pandas out here. I didn't sleep much last night, and from the looks of you I don't think you did either," she finally said.

Sherwood nodded curtly and went inside. Francesca shut the door behind her and the pair disappeared into the house. Riza shrugged and turned to the pandas, who were already flopped on the ground, snoring peacefully. She cracked a smile and went over to Chou-Chou, who rolled over to make room for her. Riza curled up against the soft bear and let herself drift off...

* * *

~Scene Change: The Parfait Shop~

The gang was seated around a table laden with a grand assortment of fancy parfaits, voraciously devouring one after another. They took up an entire half of the store, but the Master didn't mind. He just smiled at the great business so early in the morning and went back to polishing his glass like he normally did.

Finally, Maka set down her spoon and looked around at the others. Soul was tucking into something chocolate, covered with chocolate syrup, chocolate sprinkles, and pieces of chocolate sticking out the side; Black*Star was finished, patting his bloated stomach with a contented expression on his face; Tsubaki was still on her first, slowly taking apart a pink one covered in strawberries; Kid hadn't eaten anything yet, and was still rearranging the sprinkles on his so they would be symmetrical; and the Thompson sisters were busy sharing a giant sundae. Poor Crona had revealed he was allergic to dairy, and busied himself braiding Tsubaki's long black hair. Everyone looked happy, sure, but they had to report in soon, and they hadn't really found out anything yet.

"Guys, can we hurry up and finish? We have work to do," Maka said, ever the responsible one. The others let out various groans and other noises of protest, but all of them began eating a bit faster. Maka rolled her eyes and pushed back her chair. "I'm gonna call up Shinigami-sama in the bathroom. You guys wait here," she said, and walked off.

"She's too serious," Black*Star complained, and reached over to steal a spoonful of Kid's carefully composed parfait. Kid's jaw promptly unhinged itself and fell to the tabletop, his eyes going blank in utter horror at the destruction of his precious treat.

"My ice cream! My nearly-symmetrical ice cream! How dare you! It's hideous! It's terrible! It's a monster!" he cried. "It's-"

"Really good," Black*Star said with a smile, and took another mouthful for himself. Kid collapsed in his chair and moaned pitifully. His friends shook their heads in exasperation and started chatting among themselves, ignoring the obsessive-compulsive teenager's continuing noises of distress.

Across the room, a busty young woman in a maid's outfit was watching them curiously, a great spread of empty parfait glasses ranged around her. The unattended group of teenagers concerned her, and she called over the manager to ask about them. He rushed over immediately, always eager to please his favorite customer.

"Yes, Sawawa-san?"

"Master, that group of children over there...I've never seen them before, and I was wondering why they don't have an adult supervising them. Are they from around here?"

The middle-aged man looked over at them and frowned thoughtfully. "They didn't say anything, but I've never seen them before, and this is a _very _small town. They drove in last night and stayed at that motel on the pass – you know, the one that everybody took refuge in during that storm not too long ago. I thought it had closed, what with the people that died that night and all..."

Sawawa continued to stare at them, a rather dangerous idea forming in her mind. The "Master" (Whose true identity shall never be revealed!) could tell she was up to something and tried his best to change her mind.

"They're quite capable of taking care of themselves. You don't need to concern yourselves with strange teenagers. You don't know a thing about them anyway!" he tried.

The slow-thinking maid paid him no attention. "I think I'll offer them a place at the mansion. Oujou-sama is very kind, and we have _so _much space."

Master rolled his eyes and took a handful of glasses off the table. "Are you sure that's a good idea? You've already taken in two high school girls and-"

"Riza-chan isn't in high school!" Sawawa corrected cheerfully. "You can clean my table now, Master. Hime-sama will be wanting her breakfast soon, and I have to cook for all those kids over there, too, now."

Master sighed and collected the last of the tableware. "I wish you the best of luck, Sawawa-san. Kids nowadays are a handful to take care of."

She beamed at him, and Master could say nothing more – probably because his heart rate had dropped off to nothing for a few seconds, and his brainwaves weren't moving much either. It seems we've found his weakness...

* * *

Needless to say, Maka was surprised to find Sawawa conversing with her friends upon her return from visiting Lord Death. The encounter had gone a little something like this:

_Shinigami: Yo Maka! How goes the mission?_

_ Maka: Well...We haven't actually done anything yet_

_ Shinigami (obviously disappointed): Oh. Well then get right to it! You've got Kishin to __investigate!_

_ Maka: If it's just an investigation, why did you have to send so many of us? Aren't we already short on Meisters because of that issue with those witches?_

_ Shinigami: Well...Look, it's not just simple investigating. We've already had somebody do that. Y'see, we're dealing with a..._

_ Maka (intrigued): A...What, exactly?_

_ Shinigami (regretfully): Well, it's to do with the Royal Family..._

_ Maka: Royal Family?_

_ Shinigami: Look, I can't say too much about it, but let's just say we don't get along well. We usually try to keep out of each others' business, but with all these "monsters" running around in our world, I can't just ignore it._

_ Maka: So...We're going to be...fighting...royalty?_

_ Shinigami: The numbers are only for safety in the event you have to. But please, please, please don't. It would be best for everyone if you just avoided any Royals. We only want to clear out the monsters they...attract._

_ Maka (confused): Why are you calling them "monsters"?_

_ Shinigami: It's the preferred term. They don't always see themselves as having evil souls that have to be destroyed. They just live life like nothing, and the Royal Family does a good enough job keeping them under check most of the time...But when the siblings get to that age where they start fighting..._

_ Maka: This has happened before? And...What exactly _is _happening?_

_ Shinigami: Sh! I can't say...Just, stay away from any yellow-haired, red-eyed noble-types you happen to see. Just kill the Kishins and get out of there, alright? Now good luck! Shinigami out!  
_

_ Maka: Wait! Death?_

But he was already gone. Maka had been frustrated and crippled with curiosity, but there was no other choice than to return to the others. And here she was, standing awkwardly among her comrades and a smiling young woman dressed as a maid. As was her way of dealing with uncomfortable situations, she frowned and demanded an explanation with as little tactfulness as humanly possible.

"The hell's goin' on?"

Soul hastened to explain. "This, uh, maid offered us a place to stay." He twiddled his fingers unconsciously and glanced around at the others for support.

Maka was incredulous. "All of us?"

Sawawa nodded enthusiastically. "Of course! I've just always had a soft spot for children, and Hiro really could use some new friends. The girls are wonderful, of course, but maybe he needs to hang out with other people every now and again..."

Maka was unconvinced. "Is this some kind of trap, lady?"

"Well, no...And my name is Sawawa Hiyorimi, by the way. I'm a live-in maid at the mansion near the edge of town, and I just thought it would be a good idea to..." Sawawa said slowly, baffled by the blond girl's vicious way of dealing with her.

Maka's voice was as sharp and cutting as her glaring green eyes. "Thanks for the offer, but we're busy today."

"Oh...Well you're welcome to stay the night. You can't miss the house, it's..." She trailed off again at the look Maka gave her, and wisely stood to leave.

Crona managed to save the day, though. He tugged at Maka's sleeve and looked up at her in a way so pitiful not even a one-eared, half-starved stray puppy sitting in a cardboard box in the middle of a thunderstorm could rival. Maka's glare faltered when she saw him, and everyone nearby could tell Crona's extremely effective pleading was about to change her mind.

"She offered to make us all breakfast, and...Well I haven't eaten anything since yesterday, so...Could we _please _go with her? Just for a little bit? We don't even have to stay the night, and then we can do whatever we have to after we get some food..." He trailed off and looked up with big black Bambi-eyes, masterfully arranging his arms around folded up legs to maximize his endearing neediness. Of course, Maka caved in, which is completely understandable considering her worthy opponent. Still, she wasn't too excited about the loss.

"Fine."

Crona's face broke into a grin, and he jumped up, embracing Maka in a bone-crushing hug – despite his spindly little arms. The poor girl was too dazed to hug him back, the realization of her weakness just hitting her.

_Oops, _she thought, mentally slapping herself in the forehead – since, y'know, her hand was in no position to move. "Crona...You can stop hugging me now," she pointed out mildy, only the slightest hint of irritation sliding through her teeth.

"Oh, okay."

Sawawa smiled at them both and headed for the door. "I hope you all don't mind walking. I never take the car with me, and I doubt you'd all fit anyhow," she said lightly, already forgetting Maka's earlier cruelty. She was either hopelessly air-headed, or just amazingly talented at ignoring unpleasant things. But whatever the reason, nothing that happened to Sawawa ever really sank in.

The group roused itself and after much chair-scooting (and groans from those who had eaten a bit too much ice cream) the Meisters and their weapons were on their way.

* * *

~Scene Change: Hime's Dining Room in the Mansion~

Hime stared across at her younger sister, her expression dignified – as always – and showing the smallest splashes of amusement and worry. This was her contemplation face, and none could stand long in its mighty aura. Sherwood blinked and looked away, nervously twiddling her thumbs as Hime went over what her sister had come to report.

The Royal sisters' earlier conversation was interesting indeed. I won't bore you with the rundown, but there was only one bit of it that really mattered to Hime:

_"They're Shinigami-sama's servants, that much is certain. Meisters and Weapons, and enough to take us on without too much risk on their part,"_is what Sherwood had said.

Maybe taking intelligence reports from a sleep-deprived zoo runaway named Can-Can seriously seems like a poor idea to you, but Hime was not one to take chances – nor doubt the impressive powers of surveillance her sisters' servants possessed. If a bloody _panda bear _that's nearly 300 pounds can spy on eight capable fighters without being spotted (and one of them a ninja assassin, at that), it's nothing short of impressive.

But still, this was bad news.

Hime tapped her fingers in irritation, wishing she had a cup of Sawawa's always-excellent tea to calm her down. She glanced out the window, where Reiri and Riza were already up and arguing, much to the delight of the easily-amused bears lounging nearby. Hime sighed and turned back to Sherwood, ignoring Flandre's concerned "Fuga".

"If they've come to fight us, we're going to need help..." she mused.

Sherwood nodded smugly. "I thought you might say that, so I-"

Hime lifted her eyebrows and leaned back, staring accusingly at the overeager Royal sitting across from her. "You didn't..."

Sherwood ignored her reaction and went on. "I asked Emil-oniisama to come and help us," she said, and, seeing Hime still stared disapprovingly at her, hastened to add, "Only as a temporary truce! We'll owe each other nothing once the threat is dealt with."

"I don't like it."

Sherwood smiled slyly. "Well, you don't like anything, and it's too late now. He's already on his way."

Hime sighed daintily and waved her hand in dismissal. "He's staying with you, then. Now get out of here and make sure our dear brother's accommodations are in proper order."

"Yes, onee-sama," Sherwood said politely, and exited the room with Francesca in tow.

Hime sat in silence with Flandre for a few moments and thought things over. "I wish Sawawa-san would hurry back; I need some tea," she said wistfully.

"Fuga," Flandre said tonelessly.

The door burst open, and the pair turned their heads in sync to stare at the new arrival. "Hime!" Riza yelled, unable to slow down fast enough to avoid crashing into the chair Sherwood had forgotten to push back into place. She swore an impressive string of profanities, and hopped about on one leg as Hime watched in silent apprehension. Riza looked haggard as hell. Like she'd been sleeping in a pile of grass clippings and black and white fur – both of which clung to her black shirt. Note to readers: Black is a bad color choice for sleeping outside with large shedding animals.

Unlike me, Hime wasted no time in criticizing the werewolf-girl's appearance. "What's wrong?" she asked pointedly.

"Sawawa's back," Riza said, her words dropping like the anvils do in a Warner Brothers cartoon. "And she's brought us some guests..."

* * *

_**Author's Note: **Well, here's chapter two. And yes, today was my last day of school, finals are over, and I'm free to procrastinate ALL SUMMER LONG! (You may clap for my success if you wish.) Anyhow, I may have gotten lazy at the end, but this isn't published material, so don't freak out on me. Suggestions are always welcome, but as for right now the next chapter has a nice fight, and Hiro gets to die a bunch of times! Hooray! _

_So good luck, and I'll see you in chapter 3! :D  
_


	3. Princess Plot Fail

Chapter 2: Princess Bloody Massacre

"Guests?" Hime asked thoughtfully, twirling a lock of hair with her finger. She didn't look interested at all, but Riza was not one to be fooled. Hime was worried for sure...Or perhaps 'worried' is the wrong word. Hime never worries. It was more like she cared about it, but wouldn't let it bother her. At any rate, Riza had the princess' attention.

"Yeah. Eight of 'em. They're all teenagers, but something about how they smell sets me on edge...And, well, _Sawawa _brought them back. You know she couldn't tell an assassin even _after _he'd killed her."

"I'm quite aware...It's actually very convenient for us that Hiro's sister is so...absentminded," Hime said warmly, smiling slightly. Well, whenever she smiled it was only slightly – Hime didn't do big smiles. Intense emotion was beyond her disciplined countenance.

"I'd say dull or thick or impossibly oblivious...But that's not what we were talking about!"

Hime nodded slowly. "You're right. It isn't. Continue with your report, Riza."

Only slightly annoyed, the werewolf girl took a seat on the chair she had only just fallen over. "Well they're almost to the gate, and it looks like your numbskull maid is going to let them right in."

"We have a problem then," Hime pointed out, allowing herself only a brief smirk when Riza's cheek twitched in irritation, before she returned to her default blank expression. "I hope Sherwood hasn't gotten too far..."

There was a light knock on the door – which was already open – and Reiri floated in. She looked to Hime and bowed with a murmured greeting, then looked to Riza and put a hand over her mouth as though she were enjoying some private joke. She probably was.

"They're waiting downstairs. I called them back for you, Hime-sama."

"Thank you, Reiri. That helps a lot," Hime said, ignoring Riza's furious hiss, and gave out instructions. "Riza, stay on the porch and be ready to jump down and fight. Reiri, I know you won't do what I say, so feel free to fly off and watch. But know that if I die in this fight you'll have nowhere to stay."

"Of course I'll help you, Hime-sama. Just make sure your dog doesn't get in my way."

"Hey! Don't blame me because you can't fight!" Riza roared, pounding a fist on the table.

The vampire glared at her with venomous disdain. "Don't underestimate a pure-blooded vampire, you halfbreed _bitch_," she sneered.

Hime rubbed her forehead, as was the custom for these all-too-frequent events. "You two stay out of each others' hair and get going. _Now_."

The bickering monsters harrumphed and left, and Hime sighed in relief – or maybe absolute frustration. They'd been fighting a lot lately, and it was taking a toll on her patience. She reached for her tea, and cursed silently when she remembered that she had none. This day was not going well. She turned instead to Flandre. "Please fetch my chainsaws...And the ball and chain."

"Fuga," the maid replied in her answering-machine voice, and she, too, left the room.

Hime sat alone and stared out the window at the shapes standing by her wrought iron gate. A dark cloud settled over the room as Hime mentally prepared herself for a very inconvenient scrimmage.

Hiro stepped in quietly and stood awkwardly when Hime did nothing to acknowledge his presence. Finally, he steeled himself to speak.

"Er...Hime..."

"What?"

"Uh...Shouldn't we go outside? There are visitors."

"Those aren't visitors. We're going to have to fight them. I predict you'll take heavy damage; we all will."

Hiro blanched and stared down at his feet. "Well...As long as we can keep you safe..."

Hime finally looked at him, and he blushed a little as her snake-like eyes stared into his dull brown ones. Then she smiled her trademark half-smile/amused smirk, walked over to him, and put her index finger between her teeth. Hiro's blush deepened and Hime held out her hand to him, blood dripping down her finger.

"In that case, you'll need this," she said.

Hiro nodded and leaned forward to lick the life-giving liquid. He felt new strength and energy pour into his weak human body – no, his immortal blood warrior body! Though, let's face it, even as a blood warrior, Hiro Hiyorimi was a pathetic excuse for a man.

"And now we have to go downstairs and give our guests a proper welcome," Hime said as Flandre reentered the room. The little robot was dragging an immense spiked metal ball on a bloodstained chain with one hand, and carried two wicked-looking chainsaws – both of which were bloodstained, too.

"Fuga." She dropped the garden tools (which looked much more like horror fest slaughtering instruments than landscaping implements) and waited at the doorway.

"Ah, thank you, Flandre."

"Fuga."

"Come, Hiro," Hime ordered, and crossed to the door. She bent and hefted her weapons, dual-wielding them without difficultly despite her slim frame and delicate arms. Hiro quickly complied, and raced over to follow her through the door. Flandre gave one last "Fuga", gathered the ball in her tiny arms, and plunked down the stairs. How they didn't collapse under the immense weight is a mystery only Yatsunori Mistunaga can answer, and I'm in no position to ask him.

* * *

_~Not-so-scene change: The mansion's entryway~_

Maka walked uneasily forward, overwhelmed at once by the powerful wavelengths emanating from the house. But one in particular concerned her...Scared her really. An overwhelming wavelength like nothing she'd ever felt before – one that held an immense energy, but held it hostage. Subdued it. She'd never felt anything similar before. _Could this be the soul of a Royal? _she wondered.

Soul slouched at her side, scowling at the immaculate estate. Suddenly his eyes refocused and he stared up at the overhanging porch. Maka followed his gaze and saw a red-headed teenage girl lounging over the railing, leering at all of them. Her eyes were a feral yellow, and though she was dressed like Kim Possible, she looked pretty bad ass. And Soul was staring at her like...No, there was someone else on the porch, sitting quietly behind the first girl. She had long black hair and a dark school uniform on. She seemed blissfully unaware of the obvious tension in the air, and stared off into the distance. Soul Eater was probably staring at _that _one. She was pretty for sure, and something about her was mysteriously enticing. Maka took a look at her soul, and nearly gagged.

_ He sure knows how to pick 'em..._

The rest of the gang held varied reactions to the place. The Meisters (except Black*Star, who still couldn't see wavelengths) were ill at ease at all the killer souls hanging around. The weapons hung close by their Meisters, Soul the calmest of them all. The Thompson sisters were all too predictable; Patty flitted around looking at things while Liz twitched and begged Kid to let her leave the "haunted mansion".

"It can't be haunted, Liz. It's just recently been built, can't you tell?" Kid groaned. Sometimes his weapons were just as annoying as he was.

"Oh come on! That's the freakiest place I've ever seen!" Liz insisted.

"If you're that scared, let the big man run in first!" Black*Star volunteered, and shot forward on his own – until Tsubaki grabbed his collar and dragged him back. She shook her head hopelessly and kept a careful eye on the wayward assassin.

Crona was holding up better than anyone had dared to hope, and Ragnarok was miraculously absent. He stared around wonderingly and held onto Maka's hand for support. Soul knew better than to comment anymore, since Maka had long since perfected her signature "Maka Chop" move. They were just friends, after all, and now that Ragnarok was better-behaved all three got along well.

Sawawa bobbed along cheerily beside them, only mildly bothered by their strangeness. All of Hiro's friends were weird, so she was happy about finding this many kids that he would probably get along with. She smiled to herself and knocked on the door.

"I got a bad feeling about this..." Maka muttered, and took a step back.

The door swung open easily and a remarkably average boy appeared to greet them. He was undoubtedly related to the maid, even without being remotely attractive. He smiled shyly and invited them in, glancing nervously back to a grand staircase.

"Hi, Hiro!" Sawawa called, and (literally) smothered him in a bear hug. "Look who I brought to visit you!"

The innocent bystanders sweatdropped and politely looked away from the over-the-top display of affection. Everyone except Maka, who had just detected another Royal wavelength. This one wasn't nearly as scary as the first, but it alarmed her all the same. It was vicious and demonic, but it seemed younger and not so overwhelming as the first.

"Guys..."

There was a thump behind her, and the redhead dropped down, the black-haired girl levitating at her side, staring hungrily at them with deep red eyes. There was another thud as a tiny girl wandered out of the kitchen and dropped a massive metal ball into the floor. One of the spikes stuck in the boards, but she easily plucked it back out and held it threateningly in one hand. She stared at them expressionlessly, and it was incredibly frightening.

Hiro stepped back conspicuously and pushed his sister out of the room. "Sorry, Sawawa, but Hime wants you to get her tea right away."

Sawawa smiled amiably. "Of course! I'll have it done in five minutes!"

"Er...Then leave it on the table, Hime wants it waiting for her when she's done. Go do all the chores you can think of as soon as you're finished!"

"Well why do I have to do it all at once?" Sawawa asked, sounding – as always – a little confused.

"Because we'll be going on a trip, and I want the house as clean as possible when we leave," a new voice interrupted. Everyone stared at the source, a shockingly gorgeous and intimidating teenage girl who stood behind the tiny maid with a red chainsaw in each hand. She was dressed in loligoth, but she wore it well and everyone flinched when she stepped forward with a laced black boot.

"Oh! Then I'll get right to work, Oujo-sama. You guys have fun!" Sawawa said, and hustled past them into the kitchen. The sounds of tea-making followed soon after.

"I believe introductions are in order. Let's take this outside," Hime said coolly, and stepped past them nonchalantly. "Come, Flandre."

"Fuga."

The DWMA kids gaped at them as they went past, but obediently shuffled outside after them.

They stood in a loose circle out on the lawn, appraising.

"Introductions, you said?" Maka asked, careful to keep her voice measured.

"Yes," Hime confirmed.

"Well, I'm Maka and..."

Hime silenced her with a chilling look and gestured down the driveway. "We're waiting for my siblings to join us. Sherwood should be here any minute, and Emil will arrive later on."

Maka didn't like the sound of that. If her siblings were anything like one another, this fight was starting to look bad. She let her eyes drift down the opposing team, mentally sizing up each member. The boy looked completely harmless, though something about his soul was a little off, almost like it didn't belong to him. The floating girl was on the ground now, and Maka was certain that she was a vampire – and a dangerous one at that. Maka had never before encountered a pure-blooded vampire, and the thought of fighting one was exciting. The Kim Possible wannabe next to her was some sort of mixed breed. Her soul showed monster _and _human, but Kishin she was not. Actually, none of the people facing her was a Kishin, but they still seemed deadly. The blond one stood between the boy and the little maid, but Maka had no intention of looking at her very long. Instead she focused on the maid, but found she possessed no soul whatsoever. Maka blinked in confusion, but set that aside and pulled Crona's shaking hand into her own. She gave it a gentle squeeze and smiled reassuringly at him, and he did his best to smile back. Soul grunted and rolled his eyes, but Maka jabbed him mercilessly in the ribs with her elbow.

* * *

Hime raised an eyebrow as she took in the enemy. The black-haired boy in the suit looked to be the most dangerous, but the girls – sisters, from the looks of them – standing beside him looked blatantly incompetent. The ninja-looking one with the unkempt blue hair exuded an air of cocky screw-up. He would be easy enough to trick, but he probably made up for that in fighting power. The much taller girl beside him looked soft and easy to break, but fiercely loyal and kind. Kind was something that Hime could use to her advantage. The dirty blond in the flowing coat was one to watch out for; she held some strange power that kept her alive.

_Must be a protagonist, _Hime decided, _Protagonists are always like that._

The white-haired boy next to her was inconsequential. Even though he had red eyes, he was obviously a useless supporting character. The other boy...girl...no, it was a boy, had pink hair and a nervously fearful mannerism. There was a deep-seated darkness lurking within him, though, and he was probably the unfortunate host to some despicable evil. He had no visible partner, so Hime wondered what his deal was. It was easy enough to pick out which were weapons and which were their wielders for the rest, and against only four, they had a decent chance of success.

Sherwood interrupted the stare-down as she stepped in, shadowed by her hulking bodyguards. She was barely taller than the miniscule maid, and the DWMAers stared rudely at the princess.

"This is Sherwood, my younger sister," Hime introduced.

Sherwood smiled at them. "These are my friends Ryu-Ryu, Can-Can, and Chou-Chou. And this is my maid, Francesca. She's Flandre's sister of sorts." She gestured at the both maids in turn. "You may call my sister Hime-sama, and don't you dare leave off 'sama'."

Hime nodded seriously, ignoring the rather indignant expressions on the enemies' faces, and began naming her own crew. "This is my servant Hiro. You've met his sister Sawawa already; she's my maid. These girls are staying with me for now, but they aren't bound to me." She pointed at Riza and Reiri, who were amazingly not fighting with one another – at the moment, anyhow. "Reiri Kamura is an outcast vampire. I'm sheltering her since it's my fault she has nowhere to go now."

Reiri blushed a little, and waved at their "guests" like this was a normal meeting.

Hime smiled coolly and continued. "Riza Wildman is an orphan and she's out for revenge. I'm keeping her around as a small favor to her late brother, and also because she's been wonderfully helpful in our ventures."

Riza was almost visibly glowing as she received the rare and infinitely precious item known as Hime's praise. Reiri muttered something degrading, but Riza was far too elated to notice.

Maka stepped forward confidently, determined to show no fear. She didn't know what Royals were capable of, but she trusted that her team could handle whatever 'Hime' threw at them.

"Maka Albarn, my partner Soul Eater." She pointed to each person as she named them. "Black*Star, his partner Tsubaki. Death the Kid, Liz and Patty Thompson..." She hesitated, and gestured lamely at Crona. "And this is Crona, his partner is uh..."

Ragnarok, well, he pretty much exploded out of Crona's back, and threw up a peace sign in unconcealed excitement. "Yo! Name's Ragnarok, nice t'meetcha!"

The Kaibutsu Oujo crew sweatdropped (except for the androids and Hime, of course) and Ragnarok stretched himself out to stare them all in the face – much too close for comfort.

"My, your souls smell tasty," he announced hungrily as he pulled back, muscular arms crossed. "Can't wait to try them. Eh, Crona, you'll make sure I get the best ones, right?"

"Uh...Sure, I guess..."

"Great!"

Maka rolled her eyes. "So long as you don't flip any skirts, we'll be fine."

"I don't mind. I'm famous (in the manga, at least) for panty-shots," Reiri purred.

"Guess there's not much else you can contribute to the plot, is there?" Riza said snidely. "You're just a useless bit of eye candy, after all."

Reiri's smug look of utter superiority was out full force. "Then I can't imagine why you're even in the story! You tag along for no reason at all, and with those ugly pants how do you expect to get any good panty-shots? You're just there to create comedic effect, but of course it wouldn't work without me."

"You idiot! You're the one tagging along for no reason! I'm going to avenge to death of my brother, the great warrior-"

"You dogs and your stupid 'great warrior' crap. Quit barking so much; you're bothering the neighbors."

"Stop that!" Hime ordered, visibly seething. "We don't need anymore useless filler. This chapter is already way too long!"

"Eh, what?" Reiri asked.

"Well...It's already nine pages long, and I doubt anyone's gonna read this far as it is. The author's been getting really lazy lately...Must be all the cookie dough and Wolf Team getting to her..." Reiri offered.

"Aw shut up, Mela's fine. Mushrooms don't need to eat or sleep!" Riza defended. (She's getting a doggie treat for that one ^^)

"Guys!" Hime hissed.

"Yeah?" the KO characters chorused.

"We're doing even more filler right now!"

"Oh..."

"So, I say we just get right to the fight, and..."

"But this chapter's gonna be too long if we do that."

Mela rubbed her head in utter defeat; this chapter was being a royal (LOL, get it? Royal? Haha! I'm too funny...and hyper) pain, and her natural tendencies to babble were getting very much in the way. She regretfully finished up the last page, said a silent apology to those waiting for the chapter and those unfortunate enough to read it, skipped a song on her iTunes, and hit 'save', not even bothering to proofread this beast. She'd had enough, and it'd been sitting in the 'My Projects' folder for quite some time now. It was best to just let it go.

Hiro sighed. "So we're just getting cut off like that?"

Hime flipped back her hair. "Looks like it."

The Soul Eater cast shuffled around awkwardly – except for Maka, who was practically blowing smoke out her ears.

"Dammit! I wanted to kill someone already! It's been weeks since she started this fanfic, and there hasn't been a single spot of blood yet! I'll kill the author, if there's no one else I'm allowed to!"

"I did give Hiro some of my blood earlier...And I don't think it would be a good idea to kill the only being keeping you in existence...In this dimension anyway. Wherever it is."

"Oh, shut up."

Flandre tugged on the hem of Hime's dress. "Fuga," she suggested.

Hime looked thoughtful for a moment, but finally she decided. "Flandre is right. Regardless of whether or not I kill you next chapter, it would be rude of me to just leave you out here. Would you like to come in for some tea?"

Maka was taken aback, but she knew better than to refuse. "Yeah, that'd be great."

"It's settled then. Hiro, have Sawawa get everything ready."

"Y-yes, Hime!"

Hime sighed and stared up at the sky, wondering if the evil author was enjoying this random break from the plot. "You better hurry with the next chapter...I don't want to have a month-long tea party because of your incompetence," she threatened.

Mela rolled her eyes and kept typing, idly questioning her deteriorating sanity in the back of her convoluted mind. "Yeah, sure. But I'm really lazy and-"

"I will personally kill you if you put off the plot any longer."

"But I don't have any ideas!"

"Enough! You've already wasted almost two pages of this useless banter. Just stop already!"

"Fine...See you soon, then."

"You'd better hope you do."

* * *

**AN: _My Apologies for getting so off-track. But you knew it'd happen sooner or later. I'll try my best to give you a fight soon. And I promise next chapter will contain it. (And if you are threatening enough, I just may keep myself from putting in so much filler.) Anyways, review. It make me feel better, and therefore I shall write faster, although I can't promise reviews will improve the quality at all. Anyways...I guess bye for now!_**

**_PS: If it turns out that I need a good kick in the head, then please do so. I'm sorely disappointed in myself, too. O.O  
_**


	4. Princess MuchDelayed Bloody Massacre

Chapter 3: Princess Much-Delayed Bloody Massacre

Sawawa hummed tunelessly to herself, flitting about busily as on any other day, dusting this, fixing that, sweeping here, cleaning there, completely dead to the world. There were noises coming from outside, but none of that concerned her. She was all alone in her destitute and rather cavernous head, happily ignorant as she went about her duties, almost supernaturally indifferent as dangerous objects came crashing through the windows or, if not lucky enough to find a pane of glass in their trajectories, through the walls. A particularly alarming missile, a solid American car, blew past just inches behind her as she bent to plug in the vacuum cleaner. She only hummed louder, but it was probably to drown out not the horrifying circumstances, but the disruptive roar of the vacuum. She rolled it over a vast field of glass shards, wincing at the screechy noises of protest from the much-abused Oreck.

She stopped for a moment to move a table out of the way, and turned her head to the side as some of the foreign noise made it through the hazy filter in her head.

"Hm...That sounded like Hiro screaming...Maybe something scared him?" She looked around nervously, took in the demanding mess, and decided her wussy little brother would have to wait. Her job as housekeeper took priority; if she lost her job, they wouldn't have anywhere to live, after all.

"We have to make sure Oujo-sama's house is spotless when they get back!" she decided, and got back to work, humming her worries away.

* * *

_~Scene Change: Earlier That Day: In the Backyard~_

"Huh, that was quicker than expected," Hime mused, staring distractedly off into the distance.

"Well, you _did _threaten her," Maka offered.

The Princess smiled deviously. "That I did..."

The blond dictators (I do like that description of them), Maka Albarn and Princess Lilianne (whose name must never be named!), sat quietly away from the others, sipping tea around a tiny table. Everyone was gathered in the backyard, all enjoying the forced week-long tea party as they waited for Mela to remember their existences. They chatted good-naturedly with one another, getting along far better than anyone had ever expected. Sure, their socializing was forced, and when they answered each other it was rather begrudgingly, but at least nobody was fighting.

To the blond dictators, everybody else were mere insects that didn't deserve their attention. But though they weren't bothered at all by the wait – rather, they were obviously rather keen on the idea of the whole story being dropped, allowing them to live on in eternal tea-sipping bonding time – the others were getting a little edgy. So many strong personalities didn't go together very well, and not even Sawawa's excellent tea could hold off the tension for much longer. It was on this fateful day that one of them finally snapped and launched the battle that Mela had promised so long ago...

But we're getting ahead of ourselves. First, those gathered (who weren't Hime, Maka, or those incapable of human speech – meaning the pandas and the androids) gathered together and held a clandestine meeting of sorts. Everyone bundled into Hiro's room to discuss what was to be done. Sure, the groups weren't very fond of one another, but they didn't think a fight was really appropriate since they'd spent some time getting to know tolerating each other. I won't bore you with the details, but it was decided that – since the author wasn't planning on dealing with it any time soon – they would approach the two leaders on the subject of the fight. (Sherwood and Emil were leaders, too, in their own rights, but if said battle occurred, Hime would lead one party and Maka would lead the other.) They then needed somebody to handle this delicate procedure, and the vote was a very nearly tied between Crona and Hiro Hiyorimi; Hiro pulled out the victor because there were more people on his "team", but everyone thought it would work better if they both went. And so, the next day, the unfortunate duo reluctantly went about their ill-advised errand.

* * *

They wandered slowly up the rise to where the blond dictators sat, both twittering nervously at approaching their respective strong-willed masters. The pair were remarkably similar if you didn't mind looks or the fact that one of them _wasn't _possessed. Still, they both had problems with the way they bled (I mean, Crona has black blood that turns into a freakin' sword, and Hiro's blood turns into smoke and sort of dissipates...), they were both friendless for most of their lives, they were both almost completely dependent on a very controlling female, and they were both rather feminine themselves...The pitiable list does go on...And on...And on and on and on...

Hiro bowed, focusing all of his mind power on not falling flat on his face – which was difficult, since he shook nervously as if he were being electrocuted. Crona followed his example, and quite nearly lost his balance in the process. The blonde dictators snickered at the pathetic display, and that just made the boys even more unstable. To avoid certain disaster, they quickly straightened themselves and diverted their gazes. Of course, now they faced only uncertain disaster. But you know it's coming anyway, right? – it's all part of the fun, after all...

Hime's tone was merciless, but her eyes betrayed her amusement. "What is it, Hiro? What are you doing with the enemy?"

Hiro made it seem like there was something very interesting about his shoes as he stared down at them. "Um...Well, we were just wondering..."

Hime raised an eyebrow. "We?"

Hiro flinched, but kept his eyes locked on his sneakers. "Yeah, me and Crona. We were wondering why we aren't fighting. Right, Crona?"

Apparently, Crona had some interesting shoes, too, and he refused to look up. "Y-yes, that's right. We were curious..."

This was almost too much fun for our sadistic friend Hime to take without cracking a smile. "Oh...Why are you curious about this fight when it seems as though you've _befriended _the _enemy?_"

"Er...That's..."

Maka stepped up behind the Princess, enjoying this only a little less than she was. "Yes, Crona, care to explain to me what you're doing with the Royal's slave?"

"Er...That's..."

The girls stood side bye side, arms crossed, twin pairs of disapproval lasers beaming from their eyes.

"Well?" Maka challenged.

"Well?" Hime echoed.

The boys crumpled under the criticism, visibly drowning in their imagined misery.

The rest of the characters were rather conspicuously clustered nearby to watch. Emil's posse manages to stay quiet, but the others weren't so successful at stoicism. The pandas fell on top of one another, chortling and hooting at the comical scene, Sherwood was only just keeping her own laughter under check, and the DWMA'ers were varying degrees of amused. Patty's literal ROTFLOL'ing was the worst, with Tsubaki's concerned giggle the mildest reaction. And as for the vampire and werewolf...

"The hell are you doing, Hiro?" Riza barked, landing a sharp kick into his stomach.

"Ah! Riza! What was that for?"

"Get up, you're being pathetic," she answered, unashamed. These days of unwanted socializing and never-ending small talk were far too much for the rebellious teenager to take without shortening her already miniscule fuse.

"B-but..."

"No buts! Get offa your ass and quit crying! You're an embarrassment to Hime! No...You're an embarrassment to men!"

Reiri drifted down beside said princess and crossed her arms, fitting perfectly into the line of disapproving girls. "My, my, bitch, you've stepped far out of line by punishing Hiro. Groveling is most appropriate, for a servant caught in error," she teased.

Hiro blushed furiously and tightened his focus on his shoes.

Riza shuddered as she beat down the overwhelming urge to rip Reiri's throat out. "He may be a servant, but this isn't how a warrior acts!"

Reiri continued gleefully. "But besides, isn't it the master's job to pass judgment and dole out the punishment? You dogs really don't know any rules except to shout everything you say."

"Shut up, you freeloading bitch! Your opinion doesn't count for squat since you don't ever do anything!" Riza – of course – shouted.

Reiri sighed patiently but otherwise ignored the seething werewolf. "Hime, where do you stand on the matter?"

Hime stared coldly down at Hiro, and even though his shoes still kept a magnetic hold on his gaze, he could feel her eyes boring into him.

"Hiro, you..."

"I'm sorry, Hime!" Hiro shouted, and fell to his knees (wait, he was already on his knees, thanks to that kick he failed to recover from..) in surrender. "Please don't be too harsh with your punishment!"

The poor girl couldn't stand it anymore; the corner of her lip pulled up in a condescending smirk. "Hiro, you are almost as gullible as your sister!"

"Eh? What?"

"I was never mad at you. Now get up."

"Oh! R-really?" Hiro stood uncertainly, relief giving him the strength to finally look at his master. Her smile was reassuring – if not insulting.

"Of course not. I've become quite attached to our new friends, too."

The almost-forgotten Crona piped up. "I-is it okay, then, if I am Hiro's friend?"

Hime mowed him down with her killer laser-beam glare. The simpering boy scampered behind Maka and stared wide-eyed at the fearsome Royal.

Maka patted him chidingly on his messy pink head. "Don't worry. You get used to that. I'm sure it's fine, right, Hime?"

"Of course."

"Then why are you still glaring at him?"

"Not him; that disgusting _thing _that keeps crawling out of his back."

"Oh. Ragnarok?"

"I did not ask to know it's name."

"You sure are something, you know that?"

Hime laughed. "So I've been told..."

"Oi! Hime!" Riza interrupted, waving a hand in dangerously close proximity to the girl's face. "We gotta deliver a fight or Mela's gonna get scalped."

Hime waved her off with an off-handed wave of her hand. (Pfft. Couldn't resist.) "It does not matter to me."

"But if something happens and she stops writing this story, we're all screwed!"

The princess was not easily convinced. "Easy enough. I rather enjoy where it is now."

"But nothing's _happened. _Nothing at all! It's freakin' lame!"

"Why is it that you wolves always hunger for war?"

"You're a damn _Royal! _You guys are _born _to fight! What the hell's wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me," Hime threatened coldly.

"Yeah right! You're working together with Mela, aren'tcha? Makin' sure this story is all fluff and no meat! You're both hopelessly..._nonchalant_...And it's _pissing me off!_" Riza complained, her eyes changing to yellow.

"Back off, Riza."

"I was taught to never back down. Either see things my way, or fight to defend your own stupid ideas, _Princess_."

Reiri floated helplessly between them, and tried – yes, it _is _rather odd that Reiri is actively trying to _help _things, isn't it? – to stop the impending brawl. "Hime-sama! Riza! Don't fight! That'll ruin the story..." She trailed off thoughtfully, smiled a wicked smile, and drifted away with a smug expression to trump all others before it. "No...Continue. A fight is just what we need, after all..."

Riza turned her fury upon the vampire. "Oh, so you want a fight? That's it, bitch, it's about time we had our rematch! I'm sick of working together to please all those RizaXReiri fans out there! If I kill you now, then nobody can ever ask if we're some lesbo couple ever again!"

Reiri giggled with perverse enjoyment, trilled "I hope you can fly, then!", soared up out of reach, and all those down below witnessed the infamous Reiri pantyshot.

Riza was blowing proverbial smoke out of her fluffy doggie ears. "Damn that bitch! Hey! OCD kid!" She whipped out her puppy paws and pointed an over-sized finger (or is it a toe...) at Death the Kid. "Lemme borrow that skateboard of yours!"

"What? But you can't fly it! It only works for me!"

"Well then give me a lift. I don't care how weak that vampire is; it doesn't matter if I can't get close enough to hit the useless coward!"

"It only carries one person, though..."

"You tote around those girls of yours just fine!"

"Yes, but they're much lighter than you when they're..."

"Oh! So now I'm fat, too? Listen here, Captain Anal, I'm solid muscle and if you've got a problem with that, you can take it up with my rock-solid abs!"

"I'm sorry, but I just can't do it!"

"Then can you shoot her down for me?"

Kid was flabbergasted. Utterly and completely flabbergasted. "Um...I'd rather not get involved in this fight. It's for you to work out with your..."

Riza moved with the speed of blind raging blood-lust. She grabbed Kid by the lapels of his fancy black suit and held him up. Two pairs of yellow eyes stared at each other; one pair was full of fear, and the other pair of something much more terrifying.

"I swear, if you were about to say 'girlfriend', I will castrate you right here, _shinigami_."

"I wasn't! I wasn't! Please let me down!"

"I don't know...I might enjoy ripping you open...You've been a real pain in the ass with all your whining about how asymmetricaleverything is!" Her grip tightened, and she smiled with inhumanly sharp teeth.

This was too much. Kid had to call in the cavalry for this one...

* * *

"Liz! Patty! Help!"

The Thompson sisters sighed in unison and transformed, finding their ways into Kid's open palms.

"Oh no you don't..." Riza warned, and quickly released her hold. Kid managed to fire off a few rounds before Riza moved back in and broke one of his arms with an earsplitting _crack!_. Both combatants jumped back, examining their wounds and each other. Riza had a couple minor bruises from the wimp sauce bullets, but Kid had it much worse.

The injured shinigami didn't pause any longer, and set up Soul Resonance on his good arm, bypassing the cheesy introduction and annoying screaming it normally required. Riza didn't have time to dodge properly; though the shot only grazed her, she was left with an ugly wound brushed across her "rock-hard" abs.

Riza cussed an impressive stream of profanities in several languages, two of which were unknown to humankind. Reiri swooped down, laughing delightedly as she came.

"Looks like the dog's been out fighting again, Hime-sama. You really should invest in a chain or a muzzle."

"Finally came down, eh?" Riza roared. She reached back and flung Reiri down, creating an impressive spray of grass clippings on impact.

"You...Disgusting...Dog," Reiri coughed out, taken completely off-guard.

Riza was on top of her before she could move, and commenced the beat down she'd been waiting so long for. "You. Disgusting. Vampire. Bitch," she growled between punches.

"Don't forget that you're fighting me!" Kid shouted, and knocked her off of Reiri with another blast from Patty. (Liz was sitting on the sidelines watching now, since Kid couldn't shoot with her anymore.)

"Dammit! Whaddaya think you're doing, interfering like that! I'll have your asymmetrical little head if you try that again!" Riza shouted back, anticlimactically rubbing her sore bottom with one paw as she shook a fist at him the other.

Reiri rose unsteadily and dusted off her skirt. "Ugh. Thank you for the help there, shinigami-san."

Kid kept his eyes on Riza, waiting for her inevitable counterattack. "No problem."

* * *

The bystanders silently calculated the odds, wondering if it would be wise to jump in and help or jump in and fight or stay on the side and watch. The DWMA'ers were on the verge of moving, what with Kid so beat up. Hime's group was far more controlled; after all, they were the smallest and they knew that this fight would've had to happen sooner or later, though they weren't expecting Death the Kid to be a participant. Sherwood and Co. were having quite a bit of fun, crunching happily on popcorn they'd procured from who knows where. Emil's gang didn't seem very interested at all.

That is, except for Keziah...

"Gah!" Kid gasped as the black-and-white werewolf slammed into him from behind. He went sprawling face-first into the dust, flapping around uselessly under the weight of Keziah Bold.

"How's that feel, you little snob?"

Kid spat out a mouthful of blood. "Pretty bad. Get off of me!"

Keziah grinned. "Not a chance, boy...Riza! Go get that vampire for me!"

Riza nodded. "Yeah. Thanks, Keziah."

"Don't mention it...Gah!"

Maka was in the fight, too, now. She slammed the butt end of her scythe into Keziah, whipped it around, slid the blade end beneath him, and thrust upwards. There was a sickening spray of blood as the black-and-white-and-now-also-red werewolf went flying.

"Stay off of Kid. No one messes with my friends!" she admonished in her high-pitched (yet extremely frightening) voice.

"If you think you can stop a blood warrior with just that, then think again!"

The two promptly made their way into a vicious close range fight. Though Keziah was unarmed, up close it was hard to maneuver Soul Eater fast enough to block his furious attacks, and it didn't help things that his injuries healed themselves almost immediately. The fight was even enough for Mela to leave it alone for a minute and describe the rest of the long-awaited battle scene.

* * *

Riza and Reiri – now freed from interruption – fell back into their grudge match, though it was impossible to tell who was winning. After no more than a minute, both were bleeding and breathing heavily, their clothes so injured that it was lucky both owned about two-hundred of the exact same outfits to replace them. The uncaring observers had quite a time placing bets and cheering, but one by one they were dragged into a different corner of the lawn to save a friend or take advantage of an opening too good to pass up.

Before long, Hiro tried to break Reiri and Riza apart, but only got pulled into the mess. Huge clouds billowed around them as more and more of Hiro's blood evaporated from the fray. This is about where Sawawa felt a moment's concern due to her brother's screaming, but decided that nothing serious was going on...

The little mermaid (who I shall now nickname 'Pochi') was silent-screaming as she watched her precious Keziah duke it out with Maka. She couldn't contain herself very long, and she rushed over to him without thinking it through very well. Thus, the harpy-guy (I don't know his name, so I'll just call him 'Harpy', okay? – If you know his name, please lemme know) flew after her. Somehow during the rescue mission, he managed to crash into Maka, and he just barely tossed Pochi to safety (Emil caught her) before Maka reflexively lopped off his arm. Maka realized her mistake too late, and Harpy joined Keziah in the now-one-sided scrap.

"Guess she needs my help now..." Black*Star said with a shrug, and quite willingly jumped on his chance to join in the fight. "Here comes the Big Man! Yahooooo!" Tsubaki sighed and followed him, transforming on the way.

The Royal siblings, the androids, Pochi, the pandas, and Crona were the only ones safe now...And not for long...

* * *

**Author's Note_:_** **_Yes, I made you wait too long again...I'm so sorry. Chapters 3 and 4 were originally stuck together, but I thought that it would be much too long, so I chopped it in half. So, I hope you're happy that I finally got into this fight, and it gets better next chapter! Enjoy this, while I go insert page breaks and an author's note into the second half. :)_**

_**PS: If you know the Harpy-dude's name, I'd like to hear it. The mermaid, too, though I'll probably keep calling them 'Harpy' and 'Pochi' anyway...**  
_


	5. Princess Bloody Massacre Part 2

Chapter Four: Princess Bloody Massacre Part 2

"We really should break it up..." Emil observed.

"Hooba." Agreed Flanders. [From now on, Flanders shall say 'Hooba' instead of 'Fuga' for no real reason. (Also, this is after the Godzilla incident, and Flanders is mini-sized and adorable)]

Hime frowned. "I don't know...I think this fighting is good for everyone."

"Fuga," Flandre affirmed. [Flandre shall say 'fuga', as always]

Sherwood had by far the most shameful suggestion – which she delivered in a most unashamed manner – of the day. "I say we let them all kill each other."

Francisca's glasses flashed evilly as she observed the reddening impromptu battlefield. "Fuga." [Too late to change it to anything else now...]

"Fuga!" Flandre scolded. She was, at any rate, the older sister.

"Flandre is right. Sherwood doesn't have anyone out there fighting; she has nothing to lose if this continues," Hime said cuttingly.

Sherwood harrumphed and crossed her skinny arms. "I don't see what that has to do with anything. We agreed from the start that we would have to fight them, so why not see how it pans out?"

"If we're fighting them, then why is it that only some of us are out there? Even though they're outnumbered, they've left poor Crona standing on the sidelines. This isn't a war; this is just young people having trouble controlling themselves."

"Yes, but how about we join in, then, take out these gaijin, and save ourselves any trouble in the future? Or better yet, we could let our servants do all the work like proper Royals and stand back with our androids for protection!"

"Then let's have your pandas break up the fight," Emil interjected coolly. He met Sherwood's outraged expression with the infuriating calmness of an older brother trying to make the younger sister feel her inferiority. "Lilianne and I have..." He met Hime's venomous glare with less success, but managed to proceed anyway. "..Agreed that we don't want to kill them for no reason – at least not before we actually know why they're here -"

"They're here to start a war with the Royals! Or to get rid of us and ensure someone else gets the throne! Who knows! All we know is they came here in numbers and they came armed and they _came_ _right to us! _They obviously want at least one of us dead, and there's no reason not to act! We've got the advantage as it is, and giving them more time can only make things worse!" Sherwood wailed, unsuccessful in controlling her temper because Emil unleashed the full force of the older brother "I'm-not-listening-to-anything-you're-saying-because-I'm-older-and-way-cooler-than-you-and-not-to-mention-that-I'm-also-at-least-four-feet-taller-than-you-and-you-can-never-hope-to-convince-me-otherwise" technique upon her.

_Hell was gnawing on its chains..._

"Sherwood...Just listen to your brother; it's the best thing to do right now," Hime ordered.

_Hell's chain cracked sharply as it kept chewing..._

"Fine! Can-Can, Chou-Chou, Ryu-Ryu! Get off your fat, lazy, monochrome _asses _and rescue all of onee-sama's friends for me!"

The dumb brutes sat around scratching their "fat, lazy, monochrome asses" and completely ignored their young master's order save for a twitch of the ear or nose.

_Hell was nearly free..._

"_**MOVE! NOW! SO HELP ME, I WILL KILL YOU UNTIL YOUR BLOOD RUNS OUT! OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN! THEN I'LL GIVE YOU MORE BLOOD AND KILL YOU INCESSANTLY FOR ALL OF ETERNITY! NOW MOVE BEFORE I REALLY LOSE IT!**_" Sherwood roared. Those unlucky souls that heard the sound (that being most of the prefecture) had to stop for a moment whatever they were doing and clean the blood out of their ears before they could resume their tasks, mundane or otherwise.

This included the fighting. It stopped for a brief moment, everyone stared at Sherwood, and then they shrugged – if their shoulders were still working properly – and kept on trucking. But at least the pandas got moving, stumbling around in a daze (the aftereffect of the verbal abuse) as they tried to paw the combatants apart. Their clumsy attempts only got them dragged into the brawl, and soon Keziah wasn't the only contributor to the flying wads of black-and-white fur.

_Hell was off it's chain. Hell strolled up to the gate..._

"Such useless servants," Emil said disgustedly. "You should train them better."

_Hell kicked down the gate and stormed out..._

"I hate you," Sherwood hissed tightly.

Emil smiled mockingly down at her, and turned away.

_And, at long last, all Hell broke loose..._

Sherwood pulled out the tiniest of daggers and reached up to jam it into her brother's thigh, speedier than Mela when she's running down the road to catch the ice cream truck. Blood gushed out from the small but very deep wound, and Emil gave a great feminine squeal as he fell to his knees.

Flanders was there in a flash; he quickly removed the knife and left Emil to bandage it himself before turning on Sherwood. Flanders was nothing special combat-wise now, since he was re-modeled after his more compact sister, but taking care of the tiny Sherwood shouldn't prove too difficult for him.

...However, we cannot forget our emotionless friend Francisca; she was still one to be feared. Before Flanders could so much and grunt a surprised "Hooba", she punted – it was quite funny to watch, actually – her brother with a great metallic _clunk!_, and he winked out in true Team Rocket fashion.

"Fuga," she said happily.

"Thank you, Francisca; that was very helpful. Now there's nothing protecting nii-sama..." Sherwood turned slowly to Emil, who let off another squeal and covered his eyes. A crazed smile worked its twisted way across Sherwood's face as she took a mysterious black bag from Francisca's outstretched hand.

Francisca adjusted her glasses and flashed a thumbs up, then turned away politely as Sherwood pounced upon her downed sibling and showed off the results of her many years of extensive training in the art of taxidermy. The dutiful maid was also careful to ignore Emil's continuing squeaking and crying as Sherwood sliced into him.

Hime watched silently beside Francisca, concern and enjoyment slugging it out in her mind as everyone around her slugged it out in the real world.

"Fuga," Flandre asked carefully.

"Hm...I suppose maybe I _should _do something..."

"Fuga."

"Yes, you're right...This takes care of another threat without me having to do anything..."

"Fuga."

"It will be Sherwood's fault. I never cared much for Emil anyway..."

"Fuga."

"Hmmm...I need more time to think..."

"Fuga," Flandre consented, and plopped down on the grass to watch. She picked up the discarded popcorn bucket, touched a piece with tip of her tongue experimentally, stared at it in wonder, and began gobbling down the salty goodness with inhuman speed. Francisca blurted a disgusted "fuga" at the rather undignified display and walked some distance off, where she, too, sat down to observe.

Crona crawled up next to Flandre and grabbed a handful of popcorn for himself. "Guess you like popcorn...Weird, I've never seen you eat anything before," he commented.

Hime smiled and sat down on his other side, reaching across to get some, too. Crona blushed at the proximity, and Hime suppressed a chuckle; his reaction was just like Hiro's would be. It seemed he would be fun to play with and tease, too...Hime grinned her sadistic smile and chewed thoughtfully.

"As far as I know, she doesn't eat...I'm wondering how she manages this, actually. She's supposed to be mechanical on the inside..."

"Fuga," Flandre said, scrounging around on the bottom for any forgotten kernels.

Crona rubbed his head awkwardly. "Erm...I'm sorry, but I don't really understand anything she says..."

Hime flipped her hair back and watched Sherwood's autopsy demonstration for a moment before she finally answered. "Most people don't."

Ragnarok decided it was as good a time as any to interrupt right about then, and pulled out of Crona's chest (It turns out he can pop out wherever he likes – Crona's back is just the most convenient) to lick up the last of his popcorn.

The gangly introvert slumped further and muttered, "Ragnarok, go away."

"Hey princess! What'd the robot say?" Ragnarok asked, roving around for food. "And hey! Crona, why arent'cha in this fight? I've been bored as hell all this time, and you don't even tell me we got a chance for some souls? It's been so _long _since I had one and..."

Hime eyed him with mingled curiosity and disgust. "She said that she's not sure how it's working either; but popcorn is really good and she's going to eat as much as she wants...She's never tried food before to my knowledge...And how is it that you weren't aware of this battle? Can't you tell everything that's going on through Crona?"

Ragnarok returned with a second bucket of popcorn, and handed it to Flandre. "I was asleep. I can't pay attention _all _the time...But it's starting to look like I have to."

"I see..."

"Isn't that blond pretty-boy dead yet? He keeps screamin' so much, and that's what woke me up."

"He's tougher than expected..."

"Ain'tcha gonna save him? He's your brother, right?"

"An excellent reason to let him die right here."

Ragnarok shrugged hopelessly and retreated partway back into his host. "I don't get you at all."

"I am far from understanding you, too."

The black-blooded demon stretched languidly and yawned. "Whatever. I'm going back to sleep, then."

"Didn't you want to join the fight?"

"Oh yeah...But it looks like it's winding down already...'Sides, I'm not sure who I'm _supposed _to be fighting, and I don't care enough to find out."

"Good-night then. I'm going to stay here and see how Emil fares."

"You are too cruel...I'm thinking I'll stay up and watch it with you."

"So long as Crona doesn't mind."

Crona started; he'd assumed he'd been forgotten – yet again. "Oh...Uh...No, it's fine. Besides, Ragnarok just does whatever he wants and..."

"If he lives inside of you, don't you think he should listen to you?" Hime interrupted.

"Well...Maybe, but...I can't control him, so..."

Hime sighed. "I'll have to help you with that, I assume."

"Uh, no, you don't have to..."

Ragnarok roared with laughter and smacked Crona in the back of the head. "Sounds like you got a date, then. But good luck taming _me_!" He thumped his muscular black chest proudly.

Hime smiled icily at him. "I don't think I'll need it...But I _will _need my chainsaws..."

Crona threw his hands up. "But – wait! What are you..."

Flandre came up behind them and dropped the asked-for items on the grass. Crona and Ragnarok's eyes widened as a dark premonition settled upon them.

"Thank you, Flandre," Hime said, and waved her off.

"Fuga." The little robot meandered off to join her sister, popcorn bucket in tow, and plunked down again to watch Emil's torture session.

"Let's begin with teaching our friend what is _not _acceptable, and backing it up with a painful punishment. This way he'll know that certain actions cause physical pain, and will avoid them at all costs. It takes time, and you have to be _very _consistent, but in the end it will certainly be worth it," Hime lectured calmly as she pulled at the starting cords.

With both chainsaws buzzing she stepped toward the cowering pair and pointed one at them, her back to the ongoing war as sprays of blood flashed out of several fighters at once – the effect was rather dramatic. "Now, Crona, what does Ragnarok normally do that we need to work on..."

"He's not like a dog; I don't think this is the best way to..."

Hime stepped forward; Crona stepped back; Ragnarok covered his buggy eyes. The first lesson began...

* * *

The bloodshed continued as Flandre and Francisca sat side-by-side, sharing a bucket of popcorn as they directed their attentions from one scene to the next. Reiri and Riza still clawed at each other, catching Can-Can and Hiro in the crossfire. Maka and Black*Star hacked away at Harpy and Keziah, both of which were unaware of their master's cries for help – they both had super-sensitive hearing, and Sherwood's screaming had rendered them temporarily (at least we hope it's temporary) deaf. And though they turned white as Emil's life was endangered, they figured he had joined the fight, too, and trusted Flanders to protect him – besides, they couldn't get very far without the Meisters pulling them back in.

Two of the pandas slumped where they had fallen, unable to continue fighting. Kid and Co. had successfully dragged themselves out of the fight thanks to Maka and Black*Star, and dozed against their fluffy bellies, staining them red as blood kept oozing out. Emil _still _wasn't dead, and Sherwood wasn't going to let up anytime soon. Hime's lesson was by far the most interesting, and again and again the robots' eyes were drawn back to the comical game of cat-and-mouse as Crona instinctively ran from the psychopath with chainsaws, Ragnarok screamed insults, and Hime pursued them relentlessly.

But what about Pochi?...

* * *

"Oh! It's you, Pochi!" Sawawa exclaimed when she opened the back door. "Want to come inside?"

Pochi nodded solemnly and walked in, shutting the door as quickly as she could.

"They sure are noisy out there...It's no place for an adorable little girl like yourself to be...Here, I'll make you some milk and cookies, but then I need to get back to the cleaning. It seems like every time I turn around, something else gets broken!" She smiled affectionately at Pochi and then hustled into the kitchen.

Pochi walked into Hiro's room, plunked down in front of the TV, and turned the volume way up in an effort to ignore the buzz from outside. She'd scampered away just before Emil had gotten stabbed – her killer intuition warning her of the impending disaster – and hidden, but it seemed a better idea to sit inside and wait comfortably...

But then a jagged boulder came sailing in and planted itself in the floorboards a few feet away. Pochi sighed and turned the volume up again, snuggling deeper into the couch.

* * *

**A/N: _Aaaaaand, it's done! Hohohohoho! Well, you got what you wanted finally! But now I need your help..._**

**_Should Emil survive? Or shall Sherwood really kill him? _**

**_Lemme know. I'd hate to have him dead and then be forced to break laws of nature by resurrecting him just to please you guys. But I totally would, since I love breaking the laws of nature, and I am hopelessly compelled to please the much-appreciated few that read this. _**

**_And I'll get to work on the next chapter. I'll try to make them shorter for you, so you'll get them sooner, and it won't be so tedious to read it...Kthnxbai!  
_**


	6. Princess Aftermath

Chapter 5: Princess Aftermath

The survivors sat wearily around the table, waiting for Sawawa to return with the tea. They were spread out in their respective groups, eying one another with emotions ranging from fear to open hostility. The only calm ones were the robots and the blond dictators. Oh, and Sherwood. (I guess I'll call them the "blond warlords" if I'm talking about all three.)

After an especially long and drawn-out silence, Hime stood graciously and spoke. "Dear friends, we are gathered here today to celebrate our revival back from the nether-regions where all forgotten stories end up. I know we all have mixed emotions about this, but as for me I've been rather bored sitting at this table for months wondering if Mela ever planned to remember us. It seems she has, and I've decided to forgive her for the hiatus. Who can blame her for loving a Pokemon story more than us, after all? So let's all be good about this and go on with the plot like nothing ever happened." She paused for a moment, and took in the rather apathetic audience. Her voice turned to acid. "Agreed?" she ordered instead of asked, raking her death-beam gaze across the now-submissive peasants gathered around her.

Maka stood kind of stiffly, not yet fully recovered from her scrape with Keziah and Harpy. "We're all good on my side. Mela, consider yourself forgiven," she intoned, a definite menace in her girlish voice, "But know that if you forget us again, if you ever dare to revisit this sad, sad world you've made, you _will not be welcome_." She finished her speech with a deathly glare slightly above the horizon, unsure of where the computer screen was actually located.

Hime coughed. "Mela's screen is the other way."

Maka frowned, irritated. "How can you tell?"

"Why, I can see her just fine," Hime replied with the smuggest of smiles.

"I'll just take your word on that then, even though its totally unfair."

"Princess of Monsters, remember?"

"Oh. Yeah, I guess Mela does count as some horrid talking mushroom monster."

"Precisely."

"Hey, can we get onto some sort of relevant topic already?" Riza mumbled, half-asleep with her head on her arms.

"No dogs at the table," Reiri responded, kicking the groggy doggy out of her seat with a satisfying _thunk!_

Hime sighed and continued as if nothing had happened. "I guess we should speak about how everything turned out, since whatever readers Mela still has have probably forgotten the plot so far. And new readers (I so hope we get some) will be really confused."

"Agreed," Sherwood said, and stood up on her chair to address everyone.

"Alright, so nobody really won that fight. We just kept going until we got tired and one by one we lumped back inside to sleep. While nearly everyone was injured, everybody is mostly recovered now," she reported, and glanced at the other two blond warlords to see if they had anything to add.

Hime did. "Unfortunately, my dear brother Emil passed away during the fray..."

Sherwood grinned maniacally.

"...And so the power balance has shifted yet again."

"Also, Ragnarok seems unable to venture anywhere out in the open anymore, thanks to a certain 'treatment' our lovely friend Hime tried on him," Maka said dully, having thoroughly lost her personality during the months of, I guess, story purgatory.

"And that's about it," Hime finished, sitting down gratefully as Sawawa emerged from the kitchen with a gargantuan platter laden with teacups.

She beamed angelically at them as she set the table, content as ever. "You guys are looking so much better now. It was weird; you all only sat here for the longest time, so I'm glad you're speaking to one another again." She paused, filling teacups as she went around the heavy oaken table. "Your injuries are looking much better, too."

"Th-thanks, nee-chan", Hiro said, eagerly sipping at his tea. He still felt weird not telling Sawawa what had gone on, even though she could care less.

"Oh not you, Hiro. You weren't hurt at all. I meant our new friends," she said, tousling his hair.

"Thanks for your concern," Tsubaki said sincerely as she raised her tea, "You've been so good to take care of all of us."

Sawawa's ever-present smile widened at the praise. "Oh it was no trouble, no trouble at all. I just love acting like a mom. Don't think anything of it."

Tsubaki nodded. "Alright. But I still feel grateful-"

_**CRASH!**_

"Um...what was that?" Sawawa asked, Hiro already shoving her back toward the kitchen.

"It...was...um...a meteor shower! Get inside where it's safe!" Hiro stuttered, staring anxiously at the smoking hole in the wall.

Hime scowled. "Dammit. Now I need to fix that _again_."

Riza grinned, on her feet, cracking her knuckles. "So what? We get action already, and we've only just gotten resurrected."

Reiri floated down beside them. "Though I'm loathe to agree with the bitch, I, too, am rather pleased by this oh so fortunate turn of events," she said, exposing her pearly white fangs.

Hime adjusted her stance as they spoke, a slight smile playing at her lips as she saw their guests emerge from the haze. "You're right... Flandre! My chainsaws!"

"Alright. Here we go!" Riza roared, and charged off. Reiri sighed, facepalmed, and floated off after her, the rest of the gang following as a horde of zombies rushed forward to meet them.

* * *

**Author's Note: _Ahaha! I'm back! I am so fricken sorry for missing, um, was it two weeks? crap. Below is my excuse:_**

**_For the first week I was gone, I actually did write something for a new story, but the internet was down so I couldn't put it up. Then later I looked at it and decided I didn't want to post it, though it might show up later. So then I was sad. The next week I had a ginormous test to study for and so I just didn't have time to write. I could've done it over the weekend, but I'm a lazy ass. I'm not sure if I missed another one, but if I did then it was just half-assery on my part, and for that I apologize._**

**_Anyway, PRINCESS CROSSOVER IS BACK! Suggestions and reviews are ALWAYS welcome. Even just stupid comments. Sorry this one was shorter than usual, but I just needed to kind of ease back into it. Tell me where we should go, and what to do with the lengths, 'cause I'm not sure how much you actually want to read. Oh crap my note is way too long. Sorry. Bye! See you next week! (Will it be Pokemon or PR...)  
_**


End file.
